Genuine Fallacy
by Spotstar
Summary: The BDaMage is the Goddess of the BDaWorld, and shows the BDaman characters' lives on TV to make a profit. Now, see what happens when she goes too far, causing the BDaman Characters to find out and eventually react. Rated T due to paranoia. Oneshot.


**Genuine Fallacy**

Summary: The B-DaMage is the Goddess of the B-DaWorld. (It's obvious, she lives on the clouds, and those Meowmigos are her angels!) And she was making profit by showing their whole lives on TV, even using her godly powers for us, the people, to hear them thinking! One day she goes too far, and we can see how the characters of this "show" react when they find out. One shot.

Disclaimer: I don't own B-Daman, all characters in this little story belongs to Inuki Eiji, the _real _God of this show. (I don't own anything else that's copyrighted either, xD) Oh, possible OOCness, because I'm cool like that.

-

Yamato ran toward the screen, debris showing behind hi—

"No! NO THEME SONG! Today is special and we have to use ALL 30 MINUTES!" yelled a blue little creature, ordering her cats, who were the show's technicians, to cut the theme song.

Meowmigo #1 asked, "But then we'd have to cut the commercials too? That's your profit, ma'am."

"Then ask the channel's company to cut off the next two shows so we can air this special episode of Battle B-Daman," the B-DaMage said, as she put a b-dabuck into the vending machine. The problem was that the vending machine was her's, and she didn't really need to pay for her own food.

Meowmigo #2 suddenly jumped up in a fury of rage, "I NEVER MISS TEEN TITANS! WE CAN'T DO THAT!"

"What! You watch Teen Titans! You traitor!" Meowmigo #3 accused, even going as far as pointing at #2, and having an odd black bandana on his head for the moment. In fact, he looked like a wannabe rapper.

The B-DaMage yelled, "Stop yapping! We're taking up precious B-Daman airtime! Alright, in 3, 2, 1…action!"

"And this is what happened last time!"

"Last time, it was reruns for about three months, and you American viewers still haven't seen the last episode, I think," #2 explained, tapping his head in INTENSE THINKING.

"Not to mention we're on pretty early in the morning," #1 added, sighing to their pathetic airtimes.

The B-DaMage wasted no time, "Now it's on to the show!"

-

The day was nice, like usual. Has it even rained even once in the B-DaWorld? Well, the setting is of a road, an empty road. Hm, they said B-Daman isn't about an empty road. Suddenly, you hear whispers from the sky.

"Psst, I thought you said Yamato would be at this road right now…"

"Oh wait, he's been here. CUT TO NEXT SETTING!"

-

The day was night, erm, the night was dark, like always. Yamato was shooting up a few cans with his b-daman, Cobalt Saber. In the midst of doing so, a big black box that looked a lot like a video camera scrolled into Yamato's face. There was also a huge airborne microphone lowering towards Yamato's mouth.

"What the f—"

"HE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO SWEAR!"

"Well we can't control what they do! Why did you rate it such a kid rating anyway!"

"Shut up and continuing filming!"

"Hello?" Yamato called, "Is this someone's erm, floating-in-midair camera?"

"Oh great, now he broke the fourth wall."

"Yamato!" sounded the voice of Mie from inside the Cat Café, "Dinnertime!"

Yamato ran inside the Cat Café, however, for some unknown reason the setting did not change to inside the Cat Café.

"What do you mean the camera inside the Cat Café broke!"

After a few minutes, the scene suddenly changed to the kitchen of the Cat Café. Yamato licked his lips to the smell of delicious sardine sandwiches. A streak of steam came from the oven, and Mie quickly ran towards it, panic-stricken. She TORE the whole stove from the wall, surprising herself with such abnormal strength. Then she gently opened the oven, pulling out nice neat black little sardine sandwiches. This saddened Mie a lot, as she never ever in her whole life overcooked something such as insignificant as sardine sandwiches.

…why were they in the oven anyway?

"Smells good mom! Why are you throwing them away? I turned the knob thing on the oven a lot so it'd finish faster!"

"So you were the one responsible for this! Just for ruining the sardine sandwiches, you don't get any! How many times did I tell you to never touch anything in the kitchen unless your name was Tsubame!"

"I officially changed my name to Tsubame yesterday, mom! You can now call me Tsubame! I mean I liked the name Yamato, but it had so many disadvantages like you calling me _tomato_ or prohibiting me from using the kitchen!" Yama—er, Tsubame said.

Mie screamed, "WHAT! WHY DID YOU DO THAT!"

"I told you! So I can use the kitchen! And I like it when my sandwiches are a little burnt! Please don't throw them away! I went to so much troub—"

But before the red-haired now-named-Tsubame person could continue, he was dragged by his mother towards the Cowtoon's Hall, a place where you can do legal stuff like buy life insurance and changing your name legally there.

"B-DaMage, the ratings are dropping," informed #2 meowmigo.

"Then switch scenes! To, to…WINTUNE!"

-

It was a beautiful sunshiney day in Wintune, the sunshiney world. There was never a day when it wasn't sunshiney, so Wintune was nicknamed, Sunshiney Town during the time Gray and Liena was away, before the Neo-Shadow Alliance attacked Sunshiney Town. Sunshiney Town had a mayor named Simon K. Sunshiney, and he made it law that you had to say sunshiney in every sentence you speak, or you would be thrown in prison.

Let's just say there are a lot of sunshiney people in prison.

"So Liena, how are you sunshiney-doing?" Enjyu asked, who was visiting Sunshiney Town for a while.

Liena replied, with a sad face, "I've been sunshiney-ing better. My sunshiney brother is still in jail for refusing to say sunshiney in every sentence. He's so sunshiney-ing stubborn sometimes."

But to Enjyu, saying sunshiney in every sentence was like horrible torment to him. Inside he was sunshiney-ing dying, bit by bit, for he couldn't take this horrific torture anymore. Secretly, Enjyu would sneak off to a dark alley at night to say a few sentences without sunshiney in them to keep his sanity, but the cops knew that someone was not saying sunshiney at times. So this secret sunshiney-abuser was their top wanted, if they could find whoever didn't say sunshiney, that is.

"Would you like to accompany me to the sunshiny prison so we can visit my sunshiney brother?" Liena sunshiningly asked.

Enjyu sighed, but he agreed because he sunshiningly promised Gray that he'd sunshiningly protect Liena, since nobody else Gray trusted more than Enjyu was around. Enjyu though, actually sunshiningly accepted Gray's plea pretty quickly, but if only he knew the utter torture he had to go through just to be around Liena for stupid Gray sunshiney.

At the prison of all that is sunshiney, Gray was sitting in therapy, so he could be changed to say the word sunshiney multiple times.

It is sunshiningly unfortunate, for it worked.

"SUNSHINEY! SUNSHINEY! SUNSHINEY! SUNSHINEY!" yelled Gray sunshiningly in all that is mental craziness.

Liena was sunshiningly shocked to see her brother, who refused to say sunshiney, turn crazy due to his efforts to not be with the majority. Enjyu didn't sunshiningly care, but he was also rather amused at Gray, but not for long.

"SUNSHINEY! SUNSHINEY! SUNSHINEY!"

For Gray continued his little chant, without shutting up, without taking a sunshiningly _breath. _This caused Enjyu to snap in a different type of way, sunshiney.

"OH MY GOD I CAN'T SUNSHININGLY TAKE IT ANYMORE!"

And he quickly jumped off Sunshiney Bridge to his doom.

"B-DaMage, our ratings are dropping and apparently a few viewers followed Enjyu's ways of escaping the torture, and suicided."

"Change scenes quickly!"

-

It was a dark and thundery night down at Tsubakura Village or city, they haven't decided yet apparently. Tsubame was dressed up in pink frilly dresses in his room…

"I knew it! He is gay!"

"Quiet, meowmigo #1!"

Tsubame sighed and jumped on his bed. He took out a book that was in baby blue, and was flourishingly designed with pretty flowers and finger nail polish. He groaned at the book and opened it. Taking out a pen, he wrote…

_Dear Diary,  
My parents got me another girly present for my birthday again. They told me they knew I was a guy, but they just couldn't help go to the girl's section in shops and buy all the pink and girlish items. I don't see how I'm feminine at all! I mean, I have a sword! Who else has a sword, hm? Jou has long hair, and I don't see him being given tutus and cosmetic dolls! It all doesn't make sense! I don't look like a girl do I? Diary, I don't hate you, but you are covered in the most ugliest and girlish things. It makes me sad when I write here everyday, to stare at the diary of horror!_

_I tried to phone Gray last night, but he didn't pick up. The operator said I must tell him the password to call into Wintune. Oh well, my parents got mad at the phone bill again. It's not my fault almost all my friends live far away! And mail is way too slow to contact people with! What's this big black floating camera doing in my roo—OH S---!_

"WHOEVER IS FILMING ME IN THIS UGLY DRESS, BETTER COME OUT NOW!"

There was no answer, but Tsubame was completely angry, and blushing, obviously. Someone found grade-A blackmail material against her—I mean him, so it's obvious he would be a tad bit violated. Suddenly, Tsubame started smashing the camera into bits, little did he know there were about 5 more hidden cameras scattered around his room. The door creaked open and a boy in a familiar yellow poncho came in.

"Hey Tsubame, your mom told me you were in her—what are you wearing!"

"AHHH! BULL! SO YOU'RE THE PERSON WHO'S FILMING ME! GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!"

Tsubame literally screamed like a girl and took his sword. He started to actually swat it at Bull to get him out, filled with the most rage and anger any person could ever have. Bull's poncho received many slashes and was torn in every way. The poor innocent boy shrieked as he ran out the house. Tsubame's parents didn't stop them, they actually thought it child's play, and ironically Tsubame kept chasing Bull throughout the village, for everybody to see his beautiful outfit.

"B-DaMage! Our ratings are skyrocketing!"

"Wow! Well, since it's just chasing all over the village, cut to our final setting!"

-

This town was unusually quiet, _too _quiet. No chirps of birds, no yaps of people, and certainly no yawns of big fat pandas.

Yes, Liken. Liken on a rather unusual day.

No, it wasn't, it was 5am, people were sleeping. They were sound asleep. There were a few snores, but they couldn't be noticed. Cut-to 3 hours later.

The town was roaring with sound, no silence in sight! Merchants were shopping, vandals were committing vandalism, and explosions occurred somewhere at the east side. There was also splashing.

Yes, the setting is A JAPANESE BATHTUB!

"What a nice warm bubble bath, ahhhhh…" Wen commented, sinking deeper and deeper into his impending doom…

"What? Who said impending doom?" Wen suddenly jolted up, hearing a voice.

Wait, wait, he hears my voice? That's not good, technical difficulties on the B-DaMage's side, I guess.

Wen looked around. He then pulled someone out of the water, Li, "Li, was that you?"

"I can't make noises UNDER the water, Wen!" (A/N: I see many Animes, and in those many Animes, people, who are close (or not, xDDDD), seem to share baths. Seems to happen for real in Japan occasionally too, so they are sharing a bath, just so you know)

Wen scratched his head and then dropped Li back into the water, "Enjoy swimming with the rubber fishies, then."

But then he stopped and once again examined the room, "Alright! Who's the pervert saying everything I do!" Wen said.

"ARGH! STOP THAT!" Wen said.

"STOP SAYING WEN SAID!" Wen said.

Wen continued on like that, as I'm too lazy to repeat him, although he did seem quite angry, and in fact, in a panicked state as well. What if there was a pedophile in the room, announcing everything he was doing? Actually there may be pedophiles WATCHING this, which isn't good. Suddenly, Li poked his head out of the water, after performing his apparent 'holding-his-breath' skills. He also noticed the voice echoing throughout the washroom, like an eerie ghost, watching the Yong Fa's bathe themselves…

"Wen! What if it's some bad ugly hairy man peeking through a window?" Li exclaimed, wondering. Hey! I'm not ugly or hairy!

Wen whispered, "I'm scared too, Li, I'm scared too."

"He can hear our whispers too, Wen…"

"B-DaMage…technical difficulties! It seems they can hear the narrator…" Meowmigo #3 reported, but the B-DaMage was at the vending machine to get another drink.

The B-DaMage marched back towards the studio, "Hey! Who's saying everything I do?"

The cats did the classic Anime fall.

-

The B-DaMage walked around the clouds, thinking at what to do with their unusual number of errors in today's episode. She was hoping that the main characters of the show did not realize they were being filmed. She was also trying to make sure these little kids don't swear, but she had no control over their behaviour. I mean she could do simple things like move something to another place, but she couldn't control the characters themselves. The narrator was also breaking the fourth wall, so the B-DaMage was thinking of firing him…HEY!

"What to do, what to do…" muttered the worried blue critter, walking back and forth.

"I got a suggestion, B-DaMage!" The 2nd meowmigo whispered into the B-DaMage's 'ear'. (what ear?)

The B-DaMage smiled, "Perfect! Set that plan into action now!"

What? Someone tell me what they were planning! How come I don't hear their whispers!

"Because she's the B-DaMage, stupid!"

-

For some reason, our characters just popped up onto the clouds. Of course, they were still doing/finishing their activities they were currently doing. Yamato was with his mom, Mie, with some forms in their hands that they were about to start filling in. Gray was in a strait-jacket, and Enjyu had angel wings with a cute little halo over top. Liena though, looked normal unlike everybody else. Bull's clothes he was wearing was quite tattered, and Tsubame was still wearing the pretty frilly dress. Wen and Li were in towels and absolutely nothing else. (What did you expect!)

"Hey! I still hear that voice! It's that pervert!" Wen said as he pointed up, where he thought the voice was coming from.

WTF? I thought the B-DaMage fixed that problem!

"Why are you guys wet and in towels?" Liena asked, "And Tsubame, that's a very nice dress. Bull, you seem a little messed up. Enjyu, why did you jump off the bridge! Yamato and his mom look normal at least."

Yamato crossed his arms, "My name is not Yamato, I am TSUBAME now!"

"But, I am Tsubame!" Tsubame argued.

Yamato concluded, "Then you can be Tsubame girl, and I'll be Tsubame boy, considering your attire."

"But I didn't CHOOSE to be in this dress, my parents ordered me to TRY IT ON!"

"Is nobody else hearing the voice echoing wherever we are?" Li asked.

Gray muttered repeatedly, "It's a sunshiney, sunshiney DAAAAAAAAAY!"

"Yeah, I hear it," Mie said, "Still, why are you in towels?"

"We had a bath? Was that not obvious?"

SILENCE! I need your help.

They turned and suddenly listened to me, the narrator, but some of them who are ungrateful little brats, chose not to listen to my great words. But I will continuing speaking anyway, for my booming voice is hard to ignore.

"Why should we do that? You spied at us when we were doing VERY PRIVATE BUSINESS!" Wen yelled and pointed, although the way he worded that made everybody around him, even Li, look at him strangely, "What! What did I say!"

This is my job, a narrator, and my boss is threatening to take my job. Yes, I narrate your life, you finally figured it out. It isn't my fault I broke the fourth wall, it was her job to make sure you people wouldn't hear me as I narrate, or the whole show is ruined! She's blaming me for doing that when she messed up, CAUSING me to do that! It's definitely not my fault and I need the money to pay rent.

"DID YOU SAY SHOW!"

Er, yes, your life is broadcasted on TV. Don't worry, you aren't fake cartoon characters that's only ink on paper and other people's voices, you're just on TV! Like a reality show but at the same time not, because we're not supposed to tell you. Now, will you help me?

"Only if you reveal yourself from wherever you're narrating!"

Fine.

And so, a door out of nowhere opened and out popped…! Oh, and don't ask who's narrating now, hahaha.

"BIARCE!" Everybody yelled at the same time, completely surprised.

Biarce smirked, "Why are you so surprised? Yes you killed the evil half of Marda-B, but since I lost my job as being a part of him, I applied for this crappy job and the pay is quite disappointing."

But he was given no pity; everybody pointed and laughed at him, even very dead Enjyu.

"I hate you all! And I still do!"

Suddenly, the voice of the B-DaMage echoed throughout the cloud-room, "Hello, great B-DaPlayers. I am incredibly sorry to be interrupting what you may have been doing, but this is an important message. I will ban all swearing throughout all of the B-DaWorld, if you swear you will go to prison."

"You could also tell us why our personal lives are being shown on a TV SHOW!"

"What! How did you find that out! I mean uh, no, he's lying. Why would you believe the guy who almost destroyed the B-DaWorld?"

"Oh, good point," Liena added.

Biarce yelled, "WHAT! No, I speak of the truth! I mean I was narrating and there were cameras that you people noticed!"

"Despite all that, it's kind of farfetched and impossible to put cameras EVERYWHERE," Mie explained.

"HOW CAN YOU BELIEVE A RANDOM VOICE!" Biarce screamed, completely shocked and angered that they would listen to a complete stranger over him!

"We rather believe a random voice than you!" Yamato said, pointing, "Haha!"

The B-DaMage continued, "Good, then I will return you back to what you were doing and we can forget this!"

So that was what happened. The B-DaMage fixed all her problems, but doing so caused Gray to become insane, Enjyu to commit suicide, and Yamato to change his name. Not to mention Tsubame was possibly not straight, Bull's poncho is practically no more, and Wen and Li caught pneumonia, but we all know in the end, it ends in a happy ending. It always does in the show, so it has to here. So, they all became happy in some unknown way, and thus ends the episode. To see if there are anymore stupid episodes like this again, tune in next time! (Not really, oneshot)

End

-

Did anybody notice the increase of fanfictions with Wen in them? Or am I just being stupid in noticing something insignificant as that? I have exactly 14 other stories on my hard drive that will never touch this site, so…you either be grateful I only post one so you didn't endure more pain reading this, but if you did in fact enjoyed this, it's all you're getting unless I get really inspired, really. Don't ask me about the title, I usually make them by throwing two random words together.

Reviews make me happy.


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